idleness has forced me back from retirement. days have gone by, seemingly wasted. the world watches by as time fades from my hands. at this moment, time is not an issue for me. it seems so surreal that studies have reached a momentary pause for me. a closure to a chapter of life. dreaming and fantasizing about this period for two year and it is finally here. do i feel contented? indifference is apt. there may be bouts of temporial pleasure at my current position but ultimately, it is merely a waiting game.
miao mentioned that what i yearned for was an escape from where i am. a rather accurate deduction i must say. like most, what i desire cannot be expressed in words alone. it is the sum emotions, dreams, aspirations all lumped into a single equation. to speak, i myself am rather uncertain of what i want. absconding from singapore sounds very attractive to me right now. however, i am bound filial piety, expectations and the Father up there. unlike the protagonists in literature, i am not exactly suppressed by it. however i do have to take into account such factors that mould my choices.